Our ways of communications are the number one recourse that helps us get around through this world. Even though we all may act differently, our words and body language may impact how we address to the other person and how they view us. Have you ever wondered that every person has a point of view of yourself? You see, no matter who you talk to, they will always get an impression from you and it will be different from another person. Say, a family member, a friend, a stranger, or romantic partner, we all act accordingly to the relationship we have with them. One thing for sure is that not always do we pay attention how we are sending our message.
Many times, we give nonverbal messages that may not always say what we intend to say to the person we are talking to. For example, the word “I love you” may be defined as a positive or negative way depending how you use your body language and facial expressions. It can come as a form of a question to the person saying it to the other person feeling surprised or confused for the confession been made. It can also be said sarcastically without feeling love for that person. Or it can be expressed with a feeling of indifference when facing someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. We tend to act in the moment we are living and respond to the first thing that comes to our head. More than anything, our eyes are the biggest give away about our emotions and may say contrary to what we express in our mouth. For instance, when someone is feeing down and somebody greets them saying “how are you?”, their usual response will most likely be “I’m fine.” When in reality, their eyes may seem teary and sad.
Another nonverbal communication is how we dress and present ourselves to others. It gives ideas to where the person comes from and how the person behaves. Touching is another example because it expresses love and interest, and it reinforces the relationship. Whereas if there is lack of touching it may be a sign of respect or indifference.
When we give improper nonverbal cues, it may become a problem because the person who sends a nonverbal message, the other person may interpret and hear it differently. Another idea that was shared in my class is that, somebody shared that they like to do dishes, but his wife felt like he was ignoring her and felt hurt that he didn’t want to talk to her every time he did dishes. Then after they talked about it, he expressed to her that he wasn’t mad at her in any way. In fact, he loved washing dishes because it was a way to unwind from the day and made him feel at peace. If this problem wasn’t confronted, their relationship might become distant. It is important to be aware of our ways of communication because we may be intentionally hurting the person we love most.
Keep in mind to always think before speaking and be aware of your facial expressions because they will say more than your words ever can express. However, it can be difficult to control our expression when we are upset and many times we find ourselves saying the wrong thing. So, I think it is best to learn how we can express them effectively. I have difficult time expressing my emotions when I am upset, so a lot of the time I just keep quiet. My husband gets worried and interprets the message that he did something wrong. He will keep insisting me until I tell him what is bothering me and after a while we are able to fix the problem. Social and verbal cues are always important to look out for everyday in our lives.
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